What happens in the bedroom, stays in the dining room
by chromate
Summary: 'Papa says mama is tasty sometimes.' An innocent comment from Takeru and Hikari's five-year-old son causes a mental havoc among the Chosen Children. However, Mimi and Miyako insist on finding out what the little boy means, before Taichi can murder his brother-in-law.


Apparently in Chinese Takari forums, both Takeru and Hikari's birthdays are on 30th June. I don't know if this is due to translation/dub, or just an urban legend among Chinese Takari lovers. Either way, I'll dedicate this piece as a 'happy birthday fic', as they call it, to all Takari lovers.

That said, this story will not feature them heavily. Instead, it will focus on their son and his interaction with some Chosen Children. I did not include all characters because I intend for this to be a short story only, and do not want to force each character into the story.

Plot: 'Papa says mama is tasty sometimes.' An innocent comment from Takeru and Hikari's five-year-old son causes a mental havoc among the Chosen Children. However, Mimi and Miyako insist on finding out what the little boy means, before Taichi can murder his brother-in-law.

Genre: Humour, Family, Friendship

Starring: Takeru, Hikari and their son; Taichi, Mimi, Miyako, Ken, Iori, Koushiro, Sora

Pairings: Takari, Taiora, Koumi, Kenyako (namely, they are married here, but there won't be any romantic interaction between the characters)

This story is inspired by Pulchrite's _Animals_, from the _Shaman King_ fandom. It's a really good story and I recommend you all to read it.

As usual, I recommend reading in ½ page size to give off the feeling of reading a book.

Enjoy!

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Every time Yagami Taichi looked at his nephew, he was reminded of a five-year-old Yagami Hikari. The little boy looked just like his little sister when she was twenty years younger: the same brown hair, puppy-like crimson eyes, and an innocent expression that would bring out the maternal instinct of any female, young or old. The only difference was that little Kouki was a boy. Oh, and he was not a Yagami. Technically not.

Taichi casually grabbed a can of beer from the refrigerator. He stopped halfway when he saw little Kouki was looking at him with a curious expression.

'Taichi-ojisan, what is that?' He pointed at the beer Taichi was holding, and suddenly Taichi was hit with a vague memory of why he was not looking after his sister's son in his own apartment. A hand fiercely grabbed the can away from his hand, and he was faced with a death glare from the owner of this apartment.

'Do you want to get Kouki-chan drunk again?' Miyako whispered in a dangerous tone.

Ah, right.

He had once poured a cup of beer for Kouki to drink, when he was babysitting the child, and Hikari was not particularly happy about it when she found out. It was the day Taichi found out his sister actually had quite a temper, and for the first time in his life he felt sorry for the man who married his sister.

Speaking of whom, Hikari and Takeru were nowhere to be seen in the apartment. They had to attend the annual party of Takeru's publishing company. Being the star author with three bestselling novels on their adventures in the Digital World, Takeru had to be present in these dinners against his will. He would have brought Kouki along with him and Hikari had the child not slept through the whole night at the venue last year, snoring rather soundly and peacefully when the president of the company was making his speech.

Coincidentally, the Chosen Children held mini-gathering on the first Saturday of every month. This was to make sure they could still meet each other from time to time, instead of just meeting once a year on the annual gathering on the first of August. Not everyone could make these mini-gathering due to their respective busy schedule, but they still liked the idea of catching up on each other's life on a monthly basis.

'Hey, I was not planning to give it to Kouki!' Taichi defended, throwing his arms in the air. 'I'm used to drinking alcohol, Mrs Ichijouji. It's a force of habit.'

'Not when there are children around, Mr Diplomat.'

Taichi narrowed his eyes and turned to look at Ichijouji Ken for help, but the Child of Kindness just shrugged his shoulders, a gesture saying that he should not argue on the matter. The twenty-nine-year-old did not understand why he, a young and successful diplomat of the Digital World, would have to endure Miyako's lecture when he was on vacation.

'It's something that you'll like when you're older, Kouki,' Taichi put on his best smile, and Kouki raised his eyebrows in a curious manner.

'Does papa like it too?' He asked, his round eyes rolling as he spoke. All the adults in the room laughed.

'Your papa probably does not like it that much,' said a woman with chestnut hair. She was sitting next to the child on the dining table and she rested her chin on her palm. 'In fact, he can't stand it at all.'

'That's not a very nice thing to say, Mimi,' said a man with reddish-orange hair. He put his arm around Mimi's shoulder as he spoke.

'But it's the truth, Koushiro! Takeru can't take any alcohol. Remember the time when Daisuke had to bring him to the hospital because he drank, what, one shot of vodka?'

'Vodka?' Kouki raised his voice. He was always interested in learning new things, and he wanted to know what this 'vodka' thing was.

'It's a kind of juice that only adult could drink, Kouki-chan,' Miyako interjected before anyone could say a word. Taichi stared.

'Why am I being treated so differently from Mimi?' He murmured, and Sora elbowed him in the shoulder, gesturing him to stop talking.

'Is it tasty?' Kouki kept pressing on the subject. He didn't notice the slightly nervous look on the adults' faces. They looked at each other, trying to figure out a way to respond to the kid.

'It is, but only adults will think it's tasty, Kouki-chan. Children do not like it.' Hida Iori, who had been talking to Ken about some legal cases, tried to break the silence. The law student looked at others, silently begging them to change the topic. He was not good at initiating conversation, and he could only hope others would help him out on this.

'Only adults think it's tasty…' Kouki repeated his words, 'so does it mean it's as tasty as mama?'

Everybody stopped talking for once, and they all looked at the child.

'…what?' Taichi finally asked. The others were also startled by the child's question, even though they did not really understand it.

'Papa says mama is tasty sometimes.'

It was the beginning of summer, but to the Chosen Children present in the room, it felt like a cold, frosty winter when their mind started to wander into a wild, forsaken soil.

'…when did your papa say that?' Ken carefully asked. He had a vague idea of what the child was referring to, but he did not want to jump to conclusion so fast. Kouki shook his head.

'He only says that when he is alone in the room with mama.'

Ken put a hand over his face. That was too much information for him to take. The other adults also caught on the unspoken context there, and they looked horrified. Sora and Koushiro could not hide the blush on their faces. Iori had a scandalous look on his. Taichi's face was drained of all colours. Mimi and Miyako, however, looked as if they had just discovered a piece of treasure.

'Kouki-chan,' Ken wondered if he had seen his wife grin any wider, 'can you tell us more about it?'

Kouki poked his cheek with his finger, rubbing it in slow motion as his eyes looked around the room. 'He only says it when they are playing with each other.'

In normal circumstances, Taichi would have laughed out loud. It felt like college again, when some people were making too much noise that he would lead every guy in the dormitory to stand outside the door to listen to it, recording it for future (blackmailing) purpose. But now, when this matter involved his sister – his cute, innocent, angelic sister – he only had a look of pure horror on his face.

'How do they play with each other?' Mimi's eyes sparkled. 'And how often?' Being a radio DJ she was used to accumulating materials of different genres to share with her audience. Now, her professional instinct had kicked in, and she knew this would be a great story to share. With pseudonyms, of course.

'Hmm…I don't know.' The brown-haired boy said, looking at the ceiling as he was trying to give an answer. 'Papa and mama sometimes do not close their door, and that is when I hear papa say mama is tasty.'

'I need a beer,' Ken declared, and without waiting for any response he removed himself from the dining table. Miyako did not bother about the rule of 'no alcohol with children presence' and kept interrogating the little child, who was oblivious to this.

'Count me in,' Koushiro said and walked towards the kitchen to get one too. Iori looked at his friends. Generally he did not like the taste of alcohol, always preferring tea to this substance that everyone seemed to be so fond of, but now he figured some might be good for his sanity as well. Wordlessly he rose and walked towards the kitchen. In fact, he could use some tequila now.

The only male figure present at the table now was Taichi. It wasn't like he _wanted_ to listen to this conversation about his sister and her husband's…private matter, but he was just glued to the chair and he could not find the strength to walk away. He kept staring at his nephew, who looked surprised as his uncles were walking away from the table.

'So, back to the question. How do they play with each other?'

'They look like they are eating each other, like food,' Kouki happily declared.

A collective set of coughing was heard from the kitchen.

Upon seeing Mimi urging for him to go on, the five-year-old tried to describe the scene to his aunts. 'Mama sometimes climbs on papa and papa will do the same. They jump around the bed a lot too.'

Miyako began to hit the table with her hand, giggling uncontrollably. The corners of Mimi's lips were lifted to their highest.

'They like to take off their clothes when they play. I think it makes them look more like food. After all, food does not have any clothes.'

Taichi was mumbling something incoherent, and Sora could only grasp something along the line of 'Takaishi', 'kill' and 'battle royale'. Now she just wanted to hide under the table. Or the couch. Or anywhere that she would be able to forget what the innocent child had said.

'They move around a lot, and mama always makes some strange sound. Papa makes a deep voice and mama sounds like a little kitten, but it sounds different from Tail. They also look tired sometimes.'

Koushiro and Iori started to curse, quite contrary to their nature, why they agreed to come, and Ken banged his head against the shelf, muttering under his breath about not holding these Chosen Children gathering at his apartment anymore.

'But then papa will say mama is tasty and pretty and beautiful, and mama will kiss papa and they jump around again. Can food be pretty and beautiful?'

'Indeed, can it be?' Mimi flashed an evil smirk at the three men standing in the kitchen. 'Koushiro-ojisan is really smart. Why don't you ask him?'

Koushiro paled immediately and almost dropped the can of beer onto the ground. It was his second can already.

'Er…I…er…' Seeing Kouki staring at him with those innocent crimson eyes made his heart twitch. 'Ah, detective-san, do you know that?'

'What?' Ken spat out the beer he was drinking and coughed a few times. He blushed furiously as he waved his hands in the air, as if drawing an imaginary image to explain that. But then, the famous detective of Odaiba was also not immune to the young child's pure gaze. _Sorry, Iori_, he mentally noted. 'Iori, why don't you explain to Kouki what that is?'

Iori stared at his friends with a betrayed countenance. He gulped as Kouki's glance now landed on him, the top law student at Tokyo University. He gritted his teeth and faintly mumbled, 'er…I guess it can be…?'

Taichi banged his head on the table consecutively, hoping that this was just a dream and he would wake up soon. Seriously, he had already complained about Takeru and Hikari getting married at the bare age of twenty, and having a child one year later only made him feel worse. While Takeru had made enough money to support the family since he started publishing his novels when he was eighteen, Taichi did not expect to be an uncle at the age of twenty-four. Regardless of how much he trusted Takeru as a friend and as a comrade, he would always think of Hikari as his little sister who should remained pure and innocent.

And Takeru had ruined that.

And now, their son was spraying heavy salt on his open wound.

'Did you ever ask them what they are doing?' Mimi asked while smirking, satisfied with how devastated the three men looked now. While she found this totally hilarious, she also wanted to know if Takeru and Hikari were, well, aware they constantly forgot to lock their door.

'I asked Yamato-ojisan the first time it happened, but he said it was not important for me to know, and that I shouldn't tell papa and mama about it. Not even to Pata and Tail.' Kouki now looked at Mimi and Miyako. 'Should I tell them?'

'No!' The two women screamed together, causing Kouki to jump on his seat, surprised. 'Kouki-chan, be a good boy and don't say a word about this to your papa and mama, okay? This will be our little secret, and a big boy will always keep a promise. Okay?' Mimi showed him her pinkie, and Kouki, without thinking much, happily entwined his little finger with hers.

The ringing of the doorbell startled everyone in the apartment, and they realized it was almost ten o'clock. Hikari had mentioned that she and Takeru would come at around ten to pick up Kouki…

'Remember, Kouki-chan? Don't tell papa and mama,' Mimi put a finger on her lips and winked, and Kouki beamed in return, not understanding what the big deal was, but just thinking that it would be good to keep a promise with his aunt to prove that he was a big boy.

'Hey guys,' Takeru and Hikari casually waved to everyone after Miyako opened the door for them. They walked in together, with Takeru's arm around Hikari's waist, and the young woman clinging onto her husband's body.

'Papa! Mama!' Kouki jumped out of his seat and sprinted towards his parents. Hikari chuckled and held her son dearly in her arms. Takeru, though, noticed that something was wrong. Mimi was the only one waving back at them, with a very suspicious smirk directed at him. Sora hid her face in her hand while her other hand was patting Taichi on the back, and Taichi…Taichi looked like he had just entered a devastating zombieland with nothing but an unloaded handgun. Koushiro, Iori and Ken were standing in the kitchen, each holding either a can of beer or a glass of alcohol. Takeru blinked hard. As far as he knew, only Taichi, Yamato and Daisuke had livers blessed by Dionysus, and the other males in the group were seldom entertained by the substance. They also looked like they had just had a horror movie marathon of their own, as their faces were as pale as Tailmon's skin colour. They turned their gazes away from Takeru the moment he made eye contact with them, causing him to have more questions in mind.

'Did something happen?' The blond asked Miyako, who looked most…normal right now, for a lack of better word. Takeru always found the girl strange in some way, so he found it crazy that he would think Miyako was the most normal-looking person right now.

Hikari also found her friends' behaviour strange, and she looked very concerned about her older brother. 'What's going on here?' She asked quietly. Taichi woke up immediately after hearing Hikari's voice, and he flung himself towards the brown-haired young woman, who was shocked that her brother suddenly hugged her like that. Kouki yelped and jumped to his father's feet.

'Eh, onii-chan…?' Receiving no response, she looked desperately at Takeru and others. It wasn't like she did not like to hug her older brother, but the circumstance was just too strange for her. Her husband shrugged, also not really sure what was going on.

'I guess Taichi-onii-san just misses you?' He suggested, not understanding the situation as well, but he immediately shut up when Taichi started staring dagger at him. He held Hikari protectively in his arms, and shielded her from him.

'You…you…you ungrateful bastard…' Taichi muttered under his breath, earning a frightened expression from Takeru. It was the same tone the brown-haired man had used after knowing he had asked Hikari out, when they were thirteen, and on the night when they announced their engagement to everyone. More remarkably, he used that tone when they found out Hikari was pregnant. Amidst Taichi's rather unpleasantly vivid query of _'how did that happen?'_, Takeru had seriously thought he would not live to see the next sunrise.

'Onii-chan! What is wrong with you?' Hikari looked furiously at him. She certainly did not entertain the idea of her older brother threatening to murder her husband for the umpteenth time.

Mimi smacked Taichi in the head and pulled him away, throwing him into the consoling arms of his wife. 'Don't mind him, Hikari-chan. Taichi is just being an idiot.'

'He doesn't smell like he's drunk…'

Miyako quickly shoved them towards the door, not giving them a chance to say anything more. 'It's late now, and Kouki should get some sleep soon. You also must be tried after a night of socializing.'

'But Miyako…'

'Good night, Takeru, Hikari, Kouki-chan,' Mimi and Miyako completely ignored their attempt to question them and forced them out of the apartment. Takeru and Hikari looked at each other and shrugged, reckoning that arguing with those two would be pointless.

'And remember to lock the door at night!' The couple blinked at the last comment they heard. They were also certain Mimi and Miyako flashed them a very sly grin before they closed the door, and that made them more curious.

'Kouki, did anything happen tonight?' Takeru asked his son as they waited for the elevator. The five-year-old blinked a few times, looked at the ceiling aimlessly, and shook his head. He did not forget his promise with Mimi and Miyako, and he had to keep it no matter what. That's what made him a big boy! He grinned sheepishly, and Takeru rolled his eyes.

'And why did Miyako say to lock the door?' Takeru looked at his wife, hoping she would understand some of the girls' code that she had learnt from those two over the years. 'Are there a lot of burglary cases these days?' Hikari shook her head. She had absolutely no idea what they meant, and somehow she had a gut feeling that they wouldn't tell her even if she asked.

'I wish I knew, but I…' Hikari stopped talking when they could hear shouting coming from Ken and Miyako's apartment.

'TAICHI, STOP IT!'

'DON'T STOP ME, KOUSHIRO. I'M GONNA KILL THAT BASTARD!'

'STOP IT, TAICHI! THEY'RE MARRIED, FOR GOD'S SAKE!'

'I DON'T CARE! NO ONE TOUCHES MY SISTER!'

'WHERE DO YOU THINK KOUKI-CHAN COME FROM, YOU IDIOT? OUT OF A PEACH OF SOMETHING?' (*)

Takeru and Hikari stared at each other, dumbfounded. Kouki looked at his parents curiously, wondering why they stayed quiet.

'Is your brother on his period again?' Takeru carefully asked, amused at Taichi's persistence in removing him from this world.

'Let's just get out of here and go home,' Hikari rubbed her temple. 'I don't think we'll be able to figure out what happened tonight.'

'Good idea,' Takeru responded, after listening to Taichi's yet another declaration of taking his life. The last words he heard before entering the elevator was his son's query, in an exceptionally innocent tone.

'Where do I come from, papa, mama?'

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_The End_

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* This refers to the Japanese folklore hero Momotaro 桃太郎, who is believed to have come to earth inside a giant peach.

And 'Pata' and 'Tail' refer to Patamon and Tailmon, obviously.

* * *

It's a pretty short story, and I finished it in 2 days. I'm not really sure how a five-year-old talks, but I hope you all like little Kouki here.

By the way, the name 'Kouki' (光希) is a combination of 'hope'(ki/希) and 'light' (kou/光)in Japanese. It hence combines Takeru's crest and Hikari's name (which literally means 'light'). I've seen a few writers in this web use it as the name of Takeru and Hikari's children, and I really like it too.

I'll keep working on my ongoing fic, _Comfortable Silence, _and I will update it in the next couple weeks, so stay tuned for that! Please also leave me a review to let me know what you think of this story!


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